Wednesday, February 28, 2007


如果你承受不了这样的拥挤感觉, 请跟我来, 请跟我去仰望天空.
球门后的草皮上, 我们张开四肢躺着, 呼吸, 呼吸, 呼吸生命的存在.
刚才强烈, 窒息的阳光变得柔和, 你手中捏着光线调节器, 让天空变得蔚蓝.
如果你承受不了, 学着作个婴儿也好.
今天的天空变成水泥的颜色, 空气中有很多瘟疫的味道.
很久了, 大家讨论病毒的来源. 不知道不知道不知道不知道.
其实我们只是在这样一天, 都恐惧着也染上一样的病菌.
我们听到铃声, 鸟叫, 电扇吹过, 抽泣, 肥胖校长的陈述. 我们就听着.
头太重了, 屋顶压得太底了, 我们抬不起头, 看不到什么.

结束了? 开始了? 只是一些改变的过程罢了?
我们捂住口鼻惶惶得逃走, 在这样一天, 我们生怕沾上死亡的边.
我想, 死亡只是一个过程. 早或晚, 一个生命由死亡画上休止符, 所以并不算不完整. 时间到了, 我们经历. 之后是另一段旅程.

可是种种的种种, 我还是忍不住悲伤, 忍不住带上耳机, 将自己隔绝.

天空是深深的灰.

If you can't take it anymore, please follow me.

We will lie down on the grass. We will stare at the sky.

:::+:ETHER:+:::

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Monkey see monkey do
I don't know why I
Rather be dead than cool
I don't know why I
Every line ends in rhyme
I don't know why I
Less is more love is blind
I don't know why I
Give an inch take a smile
I don't know why I
Fashion shits fashion style
I don't know why I
Blow it out keep it in
I don't know why I
Have to have poison skin
I don't know why I

Stay Away - Nirvana

:::+:ETHER:+:::

Monday, February 19, 2007

Cobain is 40 today. I'm 19.
Nirvana was formed in 1986. Cobain was 19.
Cobain couldn't expect what was coming for him, neither could I.

Music never saved me from the fears.
Not even once.
Music only supports my back,
And makes sure that I don't fall.
It's okay when you sleep.
Just listen to the lyrics with no thoughts.
Just pretend that you don't exist.

My wife was the one that saved me.
I love you. I love you.
You always make me happy.
You broke into my cell and the light started shining through.
Love became so secure.
Peppy love between the spirits.

Did friends stop lasting? Did I cease exerting?
It seems that I no longer have the energy to spare.
All those people who pushed me into pains,
Who made feel me a little bit happier,
And those who hurt me badly again.
All the patrons of my life. They all just faded away.
And my friends right in front of me, you all will just evaporate.

She said I'm easily satisfied and I know why. =)

By the way I'm proud that my parents love me and I love them back.

New Year has come and I wish myself happy. I know I am.

=)

:::+:ETHER:+:::

Friday, February 09, 2007


KURT COBAIN BIOGRAPHY

Kurt Donald Cobain was the leader of Nirvana, the multi-platinum grunge band that redefined the sound of the nineties.

Cobain was born on the 20th of February 1967 in Hoquaim, a small town 140 kilometres south-west of Seattle. His mother was a cocktail waitress and his father was an auto mechanic. Cobain soon moved to nearby Aberdeen, a depressed and dying logging town.

Cobain was for most his childhood a sickly bronchitic child. Matters were made worse when Cobain's parent's divorced when he was seven and by his own account Cobain said he never felt loved or secure again. He became increasingly difficult, anti-social and withdrawn after his parent's divorce. Cobain also said that his parent's traumatic split fueled a lot of the anguish in Nirvana's music.

After his parent's divorce Cobain found himself shuttled back and forth between various relatives and at one stage homeless living under a bridge.

When Cobain was eleven he heard and was captivated by the Britain's Sex Pistols and after their self-destruction Cobain and friend Krist Novoselic continued to listen to the wave of British bands including Joy Division the nihilistic post-punk band that some say Nirvana are directly descended from in form of mood, melody and lyrical quality.

Cobain's artistry and iconoclastic attitude didn't win many friends in high school and sometimes earned him beatings from "jocks" Cobain got even by spray painting "QUEER" on their pick-up trucks. By 1985 Aberdeen was dead and Cobain's next stop was Olympia. Cobain formed and reformed a series of bands before Nirvana came to be in 1986. Nirvana was an uneasy alliance between Cobain, bassist Krist Novoselic and eventually drummer and multi-instrumentalist Dave Grohl By 1988 Nirvana were doing shows and had demo tapes going around.

In 1989 Nirvana recorded their rough-edged first album Bleach for local Seattle independent label Sub-Pop In Britain Nirvana received a lot of recognition and in 1991 their contract was bought out by Geffen, they signed to the mega-label, the first non-mainstream band to do so.

Two and a half years after Nirvana's first C.D. Bleach was released they released Nevermind, a series of different, crunching, screaming songs that along with it's first single Smells Like Teen Spirit would propel Nirvana to mainstream stardom. Smells Like Teen Spirit became Nirvana's most highly acclaimed and instantly recognizable song. Not many people can decipher it's exact lyrics but Cobain used a seductive hookline to hook the listener. Nevermind went on to sell ten million copies and make a reported $550 million (US) leaving Nirvana overnight millionaires.

Cobain was shocked at the reception of his highly personal and passionate music repeatedly telling reporters that none of the band ever, ever expected anything like this.

It quickly became obvious that the obsessively sickly and sensitive 24yr old was not going to cope well with the rock'n roll lifestyle. "If there was a rock star 101 course, I'd really have like to take it," Cobain once observed. Cobain fell into heroin in the early 90's, he said he used it as a shield against the rigorous demands of touring and to stop the pain of stomach ulcers or an irritated bowel.

Through the touring and pressure Cobain continued to write his very personal acutely focused lyrics. Cobain was distressed to find out that what he wrote and how it was interpreted could quite often be miles apart. He was appalled when he found out that Polly a heavily ironic anti-rape song had been used as background music in a real gang-rape. He later appealed to fans on the Incesticide liner notes "If any of you don't like gays or women or blacks, please leave us the fuck alone." It was to no avail, Cobain found that as an overnight millionaire musician control was something he had very little of. Cobain also worried that his band had sold-out, that it was attracting the wrong kind of fans (i.e the type that used to beat him up.)

In February 1992 Cobain skipped off to Hawaii to marry the already pregnant Courtney Love. Later in the year Nirvana released Incesticide and in August Cobain had hospital treatment for heroin abuse. Shortly after Frances Bean Cobain was born.

In early 1993 In Utero was released into the top spot on the music charts. In Utero was widely acclaimed by the music press and it contains some of Cobain's most passionate work. In Utero was a lot more open than Nirvana's previous albums. Songs like All Apologies and Heart Shaped Box detailed aspects of Cobain's sometimes shaky marriage, other songs like Scentless Apprentice detailed the agonies and struggles of Cobain's experiences.

Nirvana embarked on a support tour and recorded and filmed an "unplugged" (acoustic) performance for MTV in November of 1993. Nirvana's choice to honour bands and people that had influenced them and Cobain's passionate and intense vocals especially on "Where Did You Sleep Last Night?"silenced many of their who had labeled Cobain talentless. Rumors circulated that the MTV Unplugged compilation would be Nirvana's last album and the band were splitting up.

Cobain was a gun fanatic and always had several in his possession or in various forms of confiscation. In the northern winter of 1993-94 Nirvana embarked on an extensive European tour. Twenty concerts into the tour Cobain developed throat problems and their schedule was interrupted while he recovered. While recovering Cobain flew to Rome to join his wife who was also preparing to tour with her own band. On March the 4th Cobain was rushed to hospital in a coma after an unsuccessful suicide bid in which he washed down about fifty prescription painkillers with champagne.

The suicide bid was officially called an accident and was not even made known to close friends and associates. Several days later he returned to Seattle. Cobain's wife, friends and managers convinced Cobain, who was still in deep distress to enter a detox program in L.A. According to a missing person's report filed by his mother Cobain fled after only a few days of the program.

Cobain was cited in the Seattle area with a shotgun. Days later on the 5th of April he barricaded himself into the granny flat behind his mansion, put a shotgun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. On Thursday April the 7th ~ two days after a medical examiner says Cobain shot himself and the day before his body was found police say Courtney Love herself was taken to hospital in L.A. for a drug overdose. Released on bail, Love checked herself into a rehab center but left soon after a friend called her the next day with news of Cobain's death. Cobain's body was found when an electrician visiting the house to install a security system went round the back of the house when no one answered the front door and peered through windows. He thought he saw a mannequin sprawled on the floor until he noticed a splotch of blood by Cobain's ear. When police broke down the door they found Cobain dead on the floor, a shotgun still pointed at his chin and on a nearby counter a suicide note written in red ink addressed to Love and the couples then 19 month old daughter Frances Bean. The suicide note ended with the words "I love you, I love you." Two days after Kurt Cobain's body was found about 5,000 people gathered in Seattle for a candlelight vigil. the distraught crowd filled the air with profane chants, burnt their flannel shirts and fought with police. They also listened to a tape made by Cobain's wife in which she read from his suicide note. Several distressed teenagers in the U.S. and Australia killed themselves. The mainstream media was lambasted for it's lack of respect and understanding of youth culture.


We'll Always Remember


Biography By Mick Ronson


:::+:ETHER:+:::

i am the empty space in the dim light.

:::+:ETHER:+:::

Mydriatic effect:
Prolonged, abnormal dilatation of the pupil of the eye caused by disease or a drug.



:::+:ETHER:+:::

SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE
SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE
SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE

:::+:ETHER:+:::

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

负伤日·Injury Day

I could be the one lying in the hospital.
Yesterday's entry said, my death could be as soon as tomorrow.

Now we have seen how true that is.

You are okay Daniel Soh.



:::+:ETHER:+:::

Monday, February 05, 2007

Perhaps I am exactly the reason why this world itself is existing.
Since I can't figure out how I got trapped in this body, I might simply be the cause of everything. All these oceans, continents, icebergs, and buildings, vehicles, people of different colours, and lives and deaths were established to cater for my certain needs. Although I'm not sure what those needs precisely are, I might find out after my own death which might be as soon as tomorrow.
Such hypotheses could explain how I ever became ME.

However, hypotheses is hypothesized. There are many billions of possibilities that all people are equalized individuals, then subjectivism must be explained elsewise.

No fear for death. Beyond it, there could be answers.

=)

:::+:ETHER:+:::

Sunday, February 04, 2007






:::+:ETHER:+:::

最近老是在听Project Revolution 因为没有歌词只是音乐而已.
其实下了好些新的音乐,各种各样的,但是觉得听着很distracting,所以干脆听旧歌.
昨天JTS有点闷,大家好象不是一类人,所以就草草收场,我们几个自己去吃点夜宵,之前烧烤的东西实在不太够.
烧烤的间隙我去贩售机买汽水,竟然偶遇JIAXI.他说他住那附近,下楼来抽根烟,最近赌中超输了一把钱.我跟他说了说近况要了电话就拜拜了.也不知道要电话来干吗.我祝他赢钱.
吃夜宵时大家才聊起来,毕竟是自己人.AFZAL跟我说他讨厌这个那个人,我说很奇怪我以前和你一样,但现在却想不起那些人是谁.呵呵.人真健忘.
我,DESMOND和SIDNEY又讲起一些比较伦理的东西,DES就说我该学KI,我说我不想学因为我对有些问题只是好奇但并不渴望知道答案.到现在也只有韦婕老师明白我的一个问题:
why is there a me? OR how was i subjectified? OR why i can't see through your eys? 是个也许死了以后才能知道答案的问题.所以我想先等我死了在说吧.
吃完东西就已经很晚了,我也没多想就去DESMOND家住下了,一路上我们就聊,比如谁常去clubbing跳脏舞,谁抽烟抽得凶,谁做了爱后发公告,当然还有很多正常的话题好象家庭朋友之类的.
我们同意,若干年后,所有事情都会淡化,留下的是一些精神.
这身校服穿也不久了.
一个时期正在结束.

:::+:ETHER:+:::

Thursday, February 01, 2007

[其实在把好朋友托付给另外一个人保管的时候, 我们总是和自己过不去。]
[一月,阴冷的雨季过去,天气相当得热。我并不感到疲倦,毫无情绪地撇去一些汗水。]
[一月的最后一天我很开心。一个人在购物中心溜达着,耐心参观每一个店铺。]
[请问在瑞士天气会很冷么][瑞士有大大的雪山][长长的滑雪道]
[怎么说呢。]
[大家都把自己交给了另一个人。也有人把自己交给了我。]
[训练之前我们应该在球场的草坪上围起圈,一起读书。]
[老婆][我爱老婆][变成习惯不知是好还是坏][但是爱是坚定的]
[二月在拉丁文里有清净之意][头脑清爽,主题是努力再努力]
[我获得三好学生称号,以兹鼓励][和朋友一起吃马来饭然后狂笑]
[总是无意地瞥到对方,但是什么也不会发生]
[孙燕姿:感觉对了我要出发, 用我自己的步伐!]

[我要带老婆去马来亚东边的岛屿][谁也找不到]
[努力][努力][努力][微笑]

:::+:ETHER:+:::